Family Lawyers: What couples can do while separated under the same roof

WRITTEN BY SENIOR FAMILY LAWYER REBECCA LUCAS

In today’s economic climate, many separated couples find themselves in a difficult predicament—living under the same roof while they work through their financial separation. The rising cost of living, coupled with the challenges of splitting assets, has made it increasingly common for individuals to remain in shared living spaces until they can resolve their property settlements. This situation is far from ideal, but it is a reality that many couples face.

To manage this delicate transition, couples should understand their financial options, preserve their assets, and seek legal advice from an experienced family lawyer to get an understanding of their obligations and rights and how to protect their entitlements. In this article, we'll explore interim financial support, the steps separated couples can take while cohabiting, how to approach the situation in a conciliatory manner and the consideration of children in such circumstances.

Separation is emotionally charged, and the added pressure of living together after a relationship breakdown can compound stress and strain. However, for many, being unable to afford separate accommodation or separate shared assets quickly leaves them no choice but to remain in the same home. It’s a challenging balance between creating emotional and physical distance while being forced to coexist, especially if there are children involved.

Living under the same roof while separated often blurs the lines between finances and emotional boundaries. Therefore, establishing clear rules and mutual expectations is critical to preventing conflict and misunderstanding. Sorting out financial arrangements is vital, ensuring both parties understand what expenses will be managed separately and individually.

When living together but separated, one of the first decisions couples must make is how they will manage their finances moving forward. Will they continue to share joint accounts and split expenses as they did before? Or will they create entirely separate financial streams to reflect their separation?

Option 1: Separate Finances

For many separated couples, shifting to separate finances is the most logical and emotionally healthy option. This arrangement helps to create a sense of independence and clarity around who is responsible for what. Couples may decide to:

• Open individual bank accounts: Each person handles their own income, savings, and expenditures.
• Split shared expenses: For shared bills like utilities, home loan repayments, rent, and groceries, they may agree to split equally or in portions according to their respective incomes. It’s very important to put this agreement in writing to avoid disputes.
• Remove access to joint accounts: In some cases, it may be necessary to freeze or limit access to joint accounts or credit cards to ensure no party misuses funds.
• If only one person is working, they may agree for that person to continue to pay all such expenses until they reach a financial settlement.

Option 2: Joint Finances with Defined Rules

Keeping joint accounts might make sense for couples who remain in the same house for a short period and share financial responsibilities. However, this requires a high level of communication and trust. Couples who choose to keep finances joint should:

• Set clear boundaries: What expenses are agreed joint expenses? Are there any agreed-upon spending limits?
• Monitor spending: Keeping receipts and tracking expenses is important to avoid disputes. This ensures transparency and accountability.
• Agree on large purchases: No major financial decisions should be made without mutual consent in writing between them.

The key to both options is clear communication and a written agreement that spells out the financial expectations for the duration of living under the same roof. It is sometimes helpful if this agreement is recorded by way of correspondence between the parties’ legal representatives.

While some couples manage to navigate separation with their existing assets and income, others may require interim financial support. This can be spousal maintenance, child support, or short-term financial relief while your family lawyer is working out your property settlement.

Spousal Maintenance

If one party cannot meet their own reasonable expenses post-separation, they may be entitled to spousal maintenance. Courts may order one spouse to support the other financially until a final property settlement is reached or for some other duration depending on the circumstances of the case.

Child Support 

Couples with children can still arrange child support payments, even if they are living under the same roof. The child support formula considers both parents' incomes and the care arrangements for the children. The law requires the payment of Child Support in recognition that both parents must provide proper financial support for their children.

Government Assistance

Separated individuals living under the same roof may qualify for government benefits during this transition, such as the Energy Supplement, Family Tax Benefits, and/or Rent Assistance. It is important to grasp how your separation status might alter your existing Centrelink payments or any eligibility to claim a Centrelink benefit to efficiently navigate this intricate process.

Being separated while living under the same roof can have implications on your Centrelink payments. For example, as an individual, the amount you are paid when you are part of a couple is often less than that of a single person. This is why Centrelink requires proof of your separation or relationship status to ensure the appropriate rate is applied. Both parties will need to sign documentation to confirm their separation, including the date.

It’s crucial to ensure that assets are protected while the property settlement is being negotiated. Financial misconduct—such as one party draining joint accounts, selling shared assets, or incurring large debts—can significantly complicate matters and lead to a protracted settlement process.

• Freeze joint accounts: If there is a risk of one party depleting shared funds, consider freezing joint accounts or restricting access.
• Protect property: Both parties should agree not to sell or dispose of significant assets without the other's consent. If an asset is sold, the proceeds reached should be retained in a joint account which cannot be accessed without both parties written agreement.
• Keep detailed records: Each party should keep records of their income, expenses, and assets during this time, as it will help ensure a fair property settlement.

Legal advice is key in ensuring that both parties protect their interests while cohabiting post-separation. A family lawyer can guide couples on how best to preserve their financial position until they are formally separated and have received their respective property settlement entitlements.

Resolving financial separation is often a complex and time-consuming process. However, there are ways to speed up the resolution and allow both parties to move on.

Mediation and negotiation

Mediation is one of the quickest ways to resolve financial disputes. A neutral third-party mediator, such as a family lawyer who has completed the required mediation training, can help couples reach a mutually agreeable settlement without needing to go to court.

Consent orders

Once an agreement has been reached, couples can apply for consent orders to formalise and make the arrangement legally binding.

Collaborative law

In this approach, each party engages a family lawyer trained in collaborative law to negotiate the settlement. The goal is to reach an agreement outside of court, with both parties agreeing to work together in good faith to reach a settlement. Additionally, third party experts such as psychologists and financial advisors are engaged to assist with providing the parties with advice regarding their financial options, provide emotional support and assist with navigating separation with children.

Court proceedings

If mediation and negotiation fail, couples may need to go to court to settle their property dispute. This is often the most time-consuming and expensive option but may be necessary in complex cases.

For couples with children, managing separation while living together requires additional sensitivity. Even if the relationship has broken down, children still need stability, security, and reassurance. In most cases it is important to reach out to a counsellor or psychologist who is trained in assisting parents and children going through separation to obtain advice and guidance on how to best handle the situation.

Communicate clearly

Both parents should sit down together with their children to explain the situation in an age-appropriate way. It’s crucial to reassure children that the separation is not their fault and that both parents remain committed to their well-being. By presenting a united front, parents can provide stability during uncertainty, helping children feel secure. Clear communication about new routines, living arrangements, and parenting roles ensures that children understand what to expect and adjust more easily to the changes ahead. Children should know that while their parents are no longer together, they are still loved and supported by both.

Maintain routines

Consistency in daily activities—such as meal times, bedtimes, school schedules, and extracurricular activities—provides stability and normalcy during emotional upheaval. Familiar routines can reassure children that their lives will continue with some predictability despite the changes in their family structure. Both parents should collaborate to keep the child’s schedule as seamless as possible, ensuring that household responsibilities and caregiving roles remain clear and coordinated. A steady routine offers comfort and security, helping children feel supported as they adjust to their parents' separation.

Be mindful of conflict

Children are highly perceptive and can easily pick up on tension and discord, which can create anxiety and emotional distress. To minimise the impact on children, parents should make a real effort to keep disagreements private and avoid arguments in front of them. It's important to model respectful communication, even in moments of frustration, as this can help children feel more secure despite the family’s changing dynamics. By maintaining a calm and peaceful environment, parents can protect their children’s emotional well-being and reduce the stress that conflict often brings during separation.

Seeking independent legal advice is essential for both parties. An experienced family lawyer can help explain each person’s rights and obligations, as well as assist in drafting agreements to avoid misunderstandings. Whether couples pursue mediation, collaborative law, or court proceedings, legal advice is imperative. Further, if both parties engage highly skilled family lawyers who follow the best practice guidelines and promote resolution, rather than conflict, this will assist in achieving a fair resolution in the most efficient manner possible.

While living under the same roof during separation is far from ideal, couples have several options for managing their finances and protecting their assets. Finding workable short-term solutions while preparing for a final property settlement is the best way forward. Open communication and compromise can help make this transitional period smoother for both parties. By communicating clearly, setting written boundaries, and seeking professional family law advice, separated couples can work toward a swift and amicable resolution, ensuring they each receive their entitlements and can move forward with their lives.

If you are one of the many separated couples living under the same roof while working through a financial separation, our team of skilled family lawyers in Adelaide offers comprehensive representation for collaborative law processes, private mediation and negotiation, court proceedings, divorce applications, child support agreements, maintenance agreements and consent orders. At Williams Barristers and Solicitors, we are here to help you and invite you to contact us today so that we can start assisting you navigate this journey with support and compassion.